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July 1, 2022

The Moses Chronicles

Jewish HumourDear Diary,

Why do I keep writing? Well, who knows. With a little effort I too one day might also get mentioned in the Bible.

I briefly chatted with Moses’ brother Aaron today. He was asking about my neighbors with the hopes of reconciling them back together again.

They’ve been married for 5 years but with the wind-chill factor it seems more like 15. The husband wants to fulfill his life-long dream of becoming a prophet, and run off to some local mountaintop. She on the other hand, remains unfulfilled, not including the one time she spontaneously broke out into song.

Speaking of which, I can’t get The Song at the Sea out of my head. That entire event was sensational. Even ‘Natan the Critic’ called it “the ultimate show-stopper.”

Give all the ladies credit but it was ‘Miriam the Prophetess’ who was the real standout.

Personal Note: I’ve been meaning to ask Miriam how she maintains that soft, youthful complexion of hers. Seeing as she doesn’t talk much, that’s going to be a bit of a problem.

Who knew those ladies could sing like that? What’s amazing is that they did it all without rehearsing!

Here’s the scene:

We all awoke to Pharaoh’s entire Calvary charging towards us. Our backs were to the sea.

Without getting into all the details, we managed to cross safely and the entire Egyptian army drowned. The air became still. No one moved. No one could.

Then, all of a sudden, B-O-O-M! Every woman broke out singing and started playing the instruments they schlepped all the way from Egypt.

For the life of me until that very moment I couldn’t figure out why we were making so much noise fleeing. We were louder than the Egyptians thundering towards us.

Question: Who ever said women pack light?

Well, it looks like the Pillars of Fire are about to go out, signaling a new day is just around the corner. I can hear the 12 Tribes stirring already.

That’s my time. Shalom.

Funny And Jewish is a satirical humour website

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