Jewish Humour.

That’s the answer.

But what if you can’t spell or are American? Then your answer might be Jewish Humor.

And its driving us nuts.

Here’s what we’re asking: There are 2 ways of spelling HUMOUR, the correct way and HUMOR..

Because we want to best reach our audience, we want to know: how you spell Humour e.g as in Jewish Humour when using key-word searches?

Let’s rephrase that.

How would you best find us (Funny And Jewish) if you were searching for Jewish Humor in the US? Which spelling would you use? Reflect on that while we run some of our favorite funny visuals from our category called MISQUOTED…

HUMOUR.

That’s right. HUMOUR.

And in all our previous cases, HUMOUR was spelled with an OU.

What you might erroneously have thought while reading A Failure to Ameliorate, i.e. that it was found in a non-existent category called MISQUOTED HUMOR, was simply wrong

But we’re flexible.

So, which is it for you, HUMOUR or HUMOR?

Look, we know we’re not Yahoo! Answers (where FunnyAndJewish.com was voted a #1 Best Answer), but we really do appreciate your response. And we also know that Americans like to use the word really.

So one last time then. Is it going to be HUMOUR or HUMOR for our Yankee and lazy North American friends?

Please give us a reason to maintain our comments section.

Thanks in advance for nothing.

P.S. There’s also a little prompt we dropped in at the very bottom for you to leave a reply.. It’s OK to do so. It looks like this:

Leave a Reply

Funny And Jewish is a Jewish Humour (or is that Humor) website.

I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart to. Share your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets. You can confide in me. I’ll understand your insecurities. No fatties, please.

Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me.

Your place or mine? Divorced man, 42, with meat dishes only. Seeks woman with nice dairy set.

Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in woman.

Israeli woman, 28, works behind falafel counter in pizza shop, looking for Jewish man with sense of humus…

Very pretty, slim, lulav would like to meet fragrant, squeezable esrog. Let’s do hoshanas together. Pitum a must.

Reform rabbi, 45, I count women for the minyan and call them up to the Torah. I’m seeking females to make aliyah.

Single Jewish woman, 29, into disco, mountain climbing, skiing, track and field. Has slight limp.

Desperately seeking shmoozing! Retired senior citizen desires female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, krechtzing. Under 30 is also OK too.

If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the blech. Heimishe balabusta, 39, will cook you such a tzimmes. Hurry, it’s getting cold.

Successful orthodox diamond cutter. Both Shea and Yankee Stadium. No Shabbos games. Will not mow lawn during s’firah. Seeking wife.

Matzo supplier, 53, seeks cloth bag manufacturer. Let’s play “Hide the Afikomen.”

I’ve had it all: herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and four of the ten plagues. Now I’m ready to settle down. So, where are all the nice Jewish men hiding?

Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons. No baggage. No personality.

Are you the girl I spoke with at the kiddish after shul last week? You excused yourself to get more horseradish for your gefilte fish, but you never returned. How can I contact you again? (I was the one with the cholent stain on my tie).

Shochet, 54, owns successful butcher shop in Midwest. Doesn’t believe women should be treated like a piece of meat. Seeks glatt kosher maydle for marriage.

Sincere Jewish feminist, wears tzitzis, seeking male hard working, observantwho will accept my independence, although you probably will not. Oh, just forget it.

Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles, Chanukah candles, havdallah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker.

Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my behind. Looking for American-born woman who speaks English very good.

Couch potato latke, in search of the right applesauce. Let’s try it for eight days. Who knows?

80-year-old bubby, no assets, seeks handsome, virile Jewish male, under 35. Object matrimony. I can dream, can’t I?

FunnyAndJewish.com thanks Mr. Harry Gluckman of Harry’s Humble House of Humor for the aforementioned laughs Please visit his site for more humour.

Funny And Jewish is a satirical Jewish Humour Website

The concept of Jewish theatre is funny because Jews get dressed up to go out for

And for Jews to get dressed up for theatre, well, you’d have to provide quite a spread, with a portion of the evening being tax-deductible.

Imagine Shakespeare directed by Shalom Alechem.

So, would Shakespeare have been pleased?

Yes, if he wasn’t such an anti-Semite. Question: how many Jewish parents today name their kids Shylock? Case closed.

Where’s this Jewish Shakespearean Renaissance?

North of Toronto lies the sleepy township called Washago.

Recently made famous by the “Toronto 18” (who allegedly used nearby farmland as a terrorist training camp), this cottage-laced snapshot of rural Canada is now the center for the world’s greatest revival of Jewish Shakespearean theatre.

To the untrained eye, this is the last place you’d ever expect to see a Jew to spit on. In fact, one stands a better chance of finding a witch in Washago; a saying put to music by Gordon Lightfoot’s classic song of the same name. F.Y.I. 3 have been caught this year alone.

But unlike the previous group, these Jewish boys want to be caught, sometimes twice on ‘Pay What You Can Sundays’, the equivalent of Shakespearean tzeduca.

“Audiences are left weepy, weary and repentant.”

From the first “a bi gazint” to the last ”shalom alechem”, audiences cannot stop cheering Jewish Shakespeare.

Hamlet (now pronounced Chiamlet) opens with our Danish prince bothered by Muslim unrest due to the royal printing of Islamic cartoons, and along with familial tzuris, now worries about threats on his life.

The Jewish version has so much angst, the “To Be Or Not To Be” soliloquy lasts 45 minutes.

The choice of presenting Julius Caesar is also quite interesting.

Notwithstanding Roman footwear, known to be a very comfortable walking sandal, both cultures were opposed to, well, virtually everything. The fact that every cast member is left miserable enlivens the audience, bringing them to their feet.

I’m of course speaking about the Jewish patrons.

Gentiles can’t figure out why everyone around them are so happy.

Hamlet is haunted by his mother’s ghost, and she’s not even dead yet!

Capturing the behind-the-scene excitement is the companion documentary, ‘Shakespeare Up The Washago’.

The director was inspired by his own journey, one that took him from the banks of London’s Avon River to the banks of Tel Aviv, where he cashed his travelers cheques, bought a movie camera and put himself through rabbinic school.

“I had, at first, a difficult time explaining to the boys that romantic love is something more than how you feel about chicken wings and scotch. But with the right motivation, you can work wonders and that’s how the magic of Jewish theatre is made.”

These are summer productions for the entire family. There are no tasteful nude scenes to worry about. Not even a few tasteless ones.

Summer Season Highlights - Hamlet, Julius Caesar and Yiddish Sonnets written by William Shakespeare and translated by local rabbinic undergraduates.

Funny And Jewish is a Satirical Jewish Humour Website.

ShylockSleptHere Media

Follow Funny And Jewish for late-breaking Jewish humour. Every time you click our site for a laugh, an angel earns its wings. Today’s angel is Agnes.

Funny And Jewish is a Satirical Humour website.

Repeat Offender Wanted

A hearing impaired woman seeks a male echolaliac who is not afraid of expressing himself.

Our Funny Humorous Hero Faces A Very Serious Dilemma.

Funny And Jewish is a Satirical Humour website

Dear Diary,

Why do I keep writing? Well, who knows. With a little effort I too one day might also get mentioned in the Bible.

I briefly chatted with Moses’ brother Aaron today. He was asking about my neighbors with the hopes of reconciling them back together again.

They’ve been married for 5 years but with the wind-chill factor it seems more like 15. The husband wants to fulfill his life-long dream of becoming a prophet, and run off to some local mountaintop. She on the other hand, remains unfulfilled, not including the one time she spontaneously broke out into song.

Speaking of which, I can’t get The Song at the Sea out of my head. That entire event was sensational. Even ‘Natan the Critic’ called it “the ultimate show-stopper.”

Give all the ladies credit but it was ‘Miriam the Prophetess’ who was the real standout.

Personal Note: I’ve been meaning to ask Miriam how she maintains that soft, youthful complexion of hers. Seeing as she doesn’t talk much, that’s going to be a bit of a problem.

Who knew those ladies could sing like that? What’s amazing is that they did it all without rehearsing!

Here’s the scene:

We all awoke to Pharaoh’s entire Calvary charging towards us. Our backs were to the sea.

Without getting into all the details, we managed to cross safely and the entire Egyptian army drowned. The air became still. No one moved. No one could.

Then, all of a sudden, B-O-O-M! Every woman broke out singing and started playing the instruments they schlepped all the way from Egypt.

For the life of me until that very moment I couldn’t figure out why we were making so much noise fleeing. We were louder than the Egyptians thundering towards us.

Question: Who ever said women pack light?

Well, it looks like the Pillars of Fire are about to go out, signaling a new day is just around the corner. I can hear the 12 Tribes stirring already.

That’s my time. Shalom.

Funny And Jewish is a satirical humour website

Dear Parents,

Your son’s name is way too long.

It would be easier for everyone here at school, not to mention the baker who decorates your son’s birthday cake, if we could simply call him Haman instead of

Haman the son of Hammedatha the Agagite, son of Srach, son of Buza, son of Iphlotas, son of Dyosef, son of Dyosim, son of Prome, son of Ma’dei, son of Bla’akan, son of Intimrom, son of Harirom, son of Sh’gar, son of Nigar, son of Farmashta, son of Vayezatha, son of Agag, son of Sumki, son of Amalek, son of the concubine of Eliphaz, the firstborn son of Esau…

Morning attendance takes forever. By the time we finish reading his name, the class is over.

Might I suggest a nickname – How about Nick?

More to the point, I’m concerned about your son’s obsession with woodwork. His attention to detail is excessive. And just what is going on over at your house anyway? What are you… a family of woodpeckers? Whenever the kid sees a termite he goes ballistic.

Although I’m pleased with the exceptional pride he derives from carpentry, I’m not happy with his overall attitude. Specifically, his predilection to play hangman and the lotteries to the exclusion of everything else.

And while on the subject, I also find his obsession with astrology and fondness for gallows humor more than slightly disturbing.

Shifting gears, I’d like to focus on character refinement for a moment. Your boy only talks to people who bow down to him. What does that say?

Together we can work on improving his language skills. He is still struggling with the ability to distinguish between such seemingly straightforward phrases as ‘that’s acceptable’ and ‘no means no’.

I worry that given enough rope, he just might hang himself. Because like the song says: “when Haman loves a woman…”

P.S. Please stop sending 3-cornered pastries for lunch. Haman refuses to share.

Funny And Jewish is a satirical humor website

Kudos to both B’nai Brith Canada and The National Post for running the Saturday March 3rd print ad, “Same deadly agenda. Minus the crown.”

The timing couldn’t have been better, with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu conferring with Canadian Prime Minister Harper and US President Obama on Iran’s nuclear agenda…all while leading up to this year’s Jewish Purim celebration’s. 

Judge the impactf of this piece for yourself by clicking this link to the Winnipeg Jewish Review.

Anyone up for some Biblical irony? Read and enjoy.

Dear Diary,

If you’ve ever heard 3.5 million Jews sleeping, you’ll understand why I’m up at this ungodly hour writing. I don’t know how anyone can snooze with all the excitement that’s been happening around hear lately.

Where should I begin?

It’s been 1 month since we left Egypt and I think Moses (“call me Moshe”) has finally settled into his position as ‘Leader of the Jewish People’. His older brother Aaron believes it’s all about personal confidence, but I think it has more to do with getting over the new learning curve that comes with being ‘Leader of the Jewish People’.

At any rate, the man looks great. Maybe it has something to do with that new kosher diet that is all the rage. But that’s another story altogether.

Nevertheless, he must be doing something right. That extra bounce in his step shaved significant Sea-crossing time.

Listen to me going on about other people’s health. I’m starting to sound like one of Pharaoh’s gym teachers: “Today, we’re going to throw bricks. Tomorrow, we’ll build on that by throwing bricks with baby Jews in them!”

As an aside, I caught Shmuly again, yelling at a rock…waiting for water to come pouring out. I worry about that boy. You know, our leader Moses has 72 names and he can’t even remember 1 of them.

Now that I think about it though, if it wasn’t for Shmuly, we might never have crossed the water at all. Let me explain.

The entire Egyptian army was swiftly closing in on us and our backs were to the Sea. Most were panic-stricken, immobilized by fear screaming for help. The rest were “shushing” the hysterical because they wanted to pray.

It was only after a boy named Nachshon jumped into the water that the Sea parted. True story. He jumped in simply to get away from Shmuly, who kept double-daring him to go first. Nachshon finally had enough of Shmuly and did. Everyone simply followed in after him.

So for whatever its worth, we should remember that we might never have been saved if not for the classic shenanigans of a real ‘nudge’ (pest) in the truest sense.

Well, it looks like the Pillars of Fire are about to go out and a new day is about to begin. I can hear all 12 Tribes beginning to stir already.

That’s my time for today.

Until tomorrow, Shalom.

Funny And Jewish is a satirical humor website