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July 1, 2022

Mechanical Bull Attacks Rabbi

Jewish Humor

Honest Enough Reporting

A rabbi who impetuously visited Calgary is recovering from a bizarre accident involving a mechanical bull.

En route from France to Israel prior to making Aliya, Rabbi Tzvi Baguette-Stein wanted to fulfill a lifelong dream and visit the Calgary Stampede.

He decided on a quick Canadian stopover before rejoining his wife and 600 fellow French Jewish immigrants at a gala reception at Israel’s Ben Gurion Airport.

F.Y.I. The Israeli party was designed as a Jewish counterbalance to the scores of French festivals organized immediately following reports that there were 600 fewer Jews in that country.

The accident that left the rabbi with non life-threatening head injuries occurred at ‘Scales & Fins’, Calgary’s trendy yet inappropriately named cowboy-themed steakhouse.

Patrons recall Rabbi Baguette-Stein standing beside the bull when the machine somehow turned on, striking him about the head, knocking him unconscious.

RCMP Constable Chip Douglas required only one bullet to subdue the raging beast. Local paramedics added to the confusion by mistakenly rushing Rabbi Baguette-Stein to Cedar Rapids in Michigan, and not the Cedar Sinai Hospital in Calgary, where his doctors were waiting.

After being discharged, the always-cheerful rabbi was “just glad I wasn’t standing behind a mechanical elephant…if you know what I mean.”

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