Egyptians Want New Pharaoh
August 25, 2011
WANTED: 1 PHARAOH
NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY
The “tide of change” that initially swept through Egypt continues to unfold unabated.
While no one knows who will replace Egypt’s acting military government, one thing is certain: When it comes time to replace former President Hosni Mubara, Egyptians do not want to return to the status quo.
Rather, they are nostalgic for something else…
Recent surveys suggest that a majority of Egyptians would prefer to re-enslave the Jewish people, rather than trade with them.
This change in public sentiment is attributed to many factors, the catalyst being an economy that has not recovered since God devastated that country 3,400 years ago with 10 plagues.
Apparently, Egyptians still hold a grudge and refuse to let it go.
Let By-Gones Be Damned!
After finally restoring order, Egypt’s temporary government now needs to focus on rejuvenating a moribund economy. And with popular support for capitalism flat-lining, a staggering 100% of Egyptians would immediately replace modern day commerce with Jewish bondage.
“It’s nothing personal”, noted a government official without identification or shoes. “We simply want to return to simpler times. To a time when Egyptians could grow up to be royal taskmasters and everyone read hieroglyphics. Didn’t anyone see The Prince of Egypt?”
Israel’s RSVP: “Not a Second Time”
Israeli President Benjamin Netanyahu quickly rebuffed the cold shift in Egyptian diplomacy. “We’re not moving anywhere, especially after we’ve spent so much time cleaning our homes for Passover. Furthermore, we have to continue building more houses in East Jerusalem, and then clean them for next year’s Passover.”
Undeterred, the hard-line interim Council maintains its’ policies most accurately reflect Egyptian public opinion “and therefore, we’ll never have any need for future democratic elections or reforms …Please don’t put that in.”
Who Wants To Be A Pharaoh?
Wanna Fill These Bandages?
Subsequent to its new mandate, the acting administration will install a new Pharaoh as their permanent replacement.
Well-placed and highly malnourished sources spoke of initially wanting to use social media sites Twitter and Facebook to promote their search before realizing that they had blocked them.
The methods settled on to find their king include the new Egyptian reality show ‘Who Wants To Be A Pharaoh?’ and strategically placed ads in the personal sections of locally, banned publications.
For now at least, Egypt’s temporary regime will persevere, continuing its best to revitalize the country’s economy by further pillaging it.
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