Last year B’nai Brith Canada ran an ad in The National Post that we at Funny and Jewish believe bears repeating.

One year later, this same message remains both timely and prescient.

We repeat: this as bears repeating.

Here is an excerpt:

Funny and Jewish is a clean Jewish humor website

Dear Parents,

Your son’s name is way too long. It’s impossible to put it on a birthday cake.

It would be easier for everyone here at school if we could simply call your son Haman, instead of:

Haman, the son of Hammedatha the Agagite, the son of Srach, the son of Buza, the son of Iphlotas, the son of Dyosef, the son of Dyosim, the son of Prome, the son of Ma’dei, the son of Bla’akan, the son of Intimrom, the son of Harirom, the son of Sh’gar, the son of Nigar, the son of Farmashta, the son of Vayezatha, the son of Agag, the son of Sumki, the son of Amalek, the son of the concubine of Eliphaz, and finally, just before I collapse, the firstborn son of Esau…ahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s funny, like a funny joke, but attendance takes forever.

By the time we finish reading his name, the class is over.

Might I suggest a nickname – How about Nick?

And what’s up with Haman’s obsession with woodwork?

I might add though, his attention to detail is frighteningly excessive. Just what is going on over at your house anyway? All that sawing. What are you… a family of woodpeckers? Whenever your he sees a termite, he goes ballistic.

And while I’m pleased with the exceptional pride Haman derives from carpentry, I’m not happy with his overall attitude.

I’m now specifically referring to little Hama’s tendency to play hangman and the lotteries with his friends to the exclusion of everything else. He has an obsession with astrology that bothers me.

Moreover, I find Haman’s fondness for gallows humour slightly disturbing.

Finally, let’s talk about character development for a moment. Little Haman only talks to those friends who bows down to him…

What does that say?

If you can, let us agree to meet so that together we can both work toward improving Haman’s language skills.

I say this because as of this very moment, Haman still struggles with the ability to distinguish between such seemingly straightforward phrases as ‘that’s acceptable’ and ‘no means no’.

Also,  you might as well stop sending 3-cornered pastries for lunch. Haman refuses to share.

I also worry that given enough rope Haman just may hang himself. Because like the song says, “when Haman loves a woman…”

Kudos to both B’nai Brith Canada and The National Post for running the Saturday March 3rd print ad, “Same deadly agenda. Minus the crown.”

The timing couldn’t have been better, with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu conferring with Canadian Prime Minister Harper and US President Obama on Iran’s nuclear agenda…all while leading up to this year’s Jewish Purim celebration’s. 

Judge the impactf of this piece for yourself by clicking this link to the Winnipeg Jewish Review.

Anyone up for some Biblical irony? Read and enjoy.

Dear Parents,

I must inform you that although the school year is fresh, your boy is already failing miserably.

Here are a few points to consider.

Frankly, it would make things a lot easier for everyone here – i.e. our teachers, students and the ‘Royal Baker’ who decorates your son’s birthday cake, if we could abbreviate your son’s name from:

Haman the son of Hammedatha the Agagite, son of Srach, son of Buza, son of Iphlotas, son of Dyosef, son of Dyosim, son of Prome, son of Ma’dei, son of Bla’akan, son of Intimrom, son of Harirom, son of Sh’gar, son of Nigar, son of Farmashta, son of Vayezatha, son of Agag, son of Sumki, son of Amalek, son of the concubine of Eliphaz, the firstborn son of Esau…

to ANYTHING ELSE.

Morning attendance takes forever. By the time we finish reading his name, the class is over.

Might I suggest a nickname – How about Nick?

More to the point; your son is a mess. I blame the ADD for his obsession with woodwork. His attention to detail is excessive. I just can’t get him to put down the wood.

And just what is going on over at your house anyway? What are you… a family of woodpeckers? What are you guys building over at your place? God forbid the kid sees a termite and goes insane.

Shifting gears, I’d like to focus on character development for a moment. Would you not agree that a person’s character is best reflected by the company he keeps? Your boy only talks to people who bow down to him. What does that say?

Although I’m pleased with the exceptional pride he derives from carpentry, I’m not happy with his overall attitude. Specifically, his predilection to play hangman and the lotteries to the exclusion of everything else.

And while we’re on the subject, I find his obsession with astrology and his fondness for gallows humor a little more than slightly disturbing.

Together we can work on improving his language skills. He is still struggling with the ability to distinguish between such seemingly straightforward phrases as ‘that’s acceptable’ and ‘no means no’.

I worry that given enough rope, he just might hang himself. Because like the song says: “when Haman loves a woman…”

P.S. Please stop sending 3-cornered pastries for lunch. Your son refuses to share.

Funny And Jewish is a clean Jewish Humour website