Jewish End of Days Contest
Now that the riddle of Osama Bin Laden has been solved, Funny and Jewish is preoccupied with finding the Messiah. A new era of Peace and Tranquility is about to be unleashed and we want you and a friend to be there. His location is anyone’s guess but we’re determined to find him…WITH YOUR HELP.
Grand Prize: 2 Early Bird Resurrections!
According to Jewish sources (including the guy behind my favorite deli counter), the wait for the Messiah is real, surviving generations, only surpassed by Kieth Richards for endurance.
For centuries there have been many false starts, a few close calls but “no real deal.” (Brachos 7B, very loosely translated)
In Every Generation There Exists the Potential for the Messiah…HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?
This week we look at:
Rabbi Aengus Bunt
Country: Republic of Ireland
Residence: A stone cottage in the county of Limerick
Occupation: Rabbinic advisor and lead understudy in Riverdance, although in his heart he is the ‘Lord of the Dance’.
Rabbi Bunt’s pot of gold is Torah; pure and simple. The purer and simpler the better. Aengus leaves nothing to chance and doesn’t believe in coincidence. “Everything happens because G-d wants it to happen. Although a little luck wouldn’t hurt either.”
Strengths:
– Dedicated to applying ‘Torah Codes’ in proving the existence of leprechauns.
– Stringent on only using 4-leaf clovers for havdalah.
– Favorite touring Broadway production: Finian’s Rainbow.
Strikes:
– Geopolitically challenged: Firmly believes that the English should get out of Northern Jerusalem.
– Controversial lineage: While Jewishness never brought into question, Rabbi Bunt is the only Irish villager in Limerick whose last name does not begin with O’ or rhyme with anything rude (I know you’re trying).
Why Now?
FunnyAndJewish is committed to helping humanity realize its’ full potential and create a heaven on earth (unlimited texting included).
Rules: There are 2 ways to play:
(1) Spot the Messiah in his natural habitat, or (2) if you’ve never made First-Contact with the Messiah but would recognize him if you saw him Contact Us. Send us (1) a recent photo (hand-drawn facsimile won’t do) along with (2) a short note stating why your candidate is the real Messiah and (3) any additional proof that will help your candidates claim to the Messianic throne.
You may find yourself laying down between a lion and a lamb.
– Winners will be woken gently. –
Funny and Jewish is a satirical Jewish humour site.
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In Every Generation There Exists The Potential For The Messiah…HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?
Messianic Grand Prize: 2 Early Bird Resurrections!
A new era of Peace and Tranquility is about to be unleashed on the world and Funny And Jewish want you and a friend to be there.
His location is anyone’s guess and that’s where you come in.
We are sincerely committed to helping humanity realize its’ full potential and create a heaven on earth (unlimited texting included). And when we do, you can be sure that we will want to share in all the glory.
This week we look at:
Mr. Gerard Kipling
(Tribe of Levy)
Country: Hungary
Residence: Budapest
Occupation: Former Hungarian Jailer is now the country’s top State Executioner.
Weekly Mitzvahs:
– Volunteers as a Spiritual Healer for the aged and follically challenged.
– Learns 3 times/week (stays of executions permitting).
– Is a strictly kosher, albeit anorexic vegan.
Obstacles to Messianic Conquest:
– Anorexic condition prevents recitation of blessings before and after meals. Is seriously considering bulimia as alternative.
– Takes too much pleasure from his job; early childhood habit of provoking fights hard to lose.
– Favorite movie – Ace Ventura Pet Detective.
Rules: There are 2 ways to play and win:
(1) If you have spotted the Messiah Contact Us. Send us (1) a recent photo along with (2) any additional proof that will help your candidate’s claim to the Messianic throne.
(2) If you’ve never made First-Contact with the Messiah but would recognize him if you saw him, please indicate in our Reply Section below and you may find yourself laying down between a lion and a lamb.
– Winners will be woken gently. –