Funny Jewish Health Advice with Humour
Please also visit Why Be A Vegan?
Guest post – Dr. Vegan Jones.
Why are there so many fat kosher vegans out there? How could that ever happen on their ubber restrictive diets?
They must be lying to us, and most importantly lying to themselves. They are simply eating more than their ‘plant and grub’ daily intake allows.
Did these newly minted vegans just decide 5 minutes ago that after decades of stuffing their body like Pizza Hut ovens, that right there and then and all of a sudden, they finally resolved (5 MINUTES AGO!) that they would never, ever, ever eat any meat, cheese, fish, or anything that you’d think of ever putting BBQ sauce on ever again?
Or maybe not.
In trying to explain this vegan craze (and by craze I mean that there are 38+ BING returns for the search Vegan Craze [try it yourself and click!]), I decided to deeply explore the culinary advantages of a vegan diet.
Hmmmmm….
Know what?
Personal experience tells me that when you ask a vegan why they chose to become a vegan, they’ll extol virtues of all the health benefits accrued from adopting this alternative lifestyle.
What’s most bizarre about their foodie fixations are the personal denials and reluctant admissions that their meal variety is so woefully lacking.
Maybe the happiness equation for vegans is a simple one: a limited food choice = an ease of life, …thus accounting for what attracts people to becoming vegans.
Hmmmmm.
Once again, here’s my experiential take on reality:
Recipes for vegans can be written on the backs of matchbooks and business cards. That explains why vegans are always so eager to share all their recipes with you… because it doesn’t take them any time to do so.
Like a vegan pizza – also known as a plain cracker, once the cheese and meat toppings have been removed.
And by now you are probably asking yourself, what is the P.S. to all of this? If there is a post script, it would be this simple question:
P.S. “And just what are their kid’s birthday parties like?”
Hmmmmm… Blowing out the birthday compost pie sounds absolutely fabulous! Who wants the first piece?
Agree or disagree, I’m feeling a little bit hungry now myself.
Bon appetite.
Dr. Vegan Jones.
(Dr. Vegan Jones is neither a doctor nor a vegan, but offers advice freely on both).
Please also visit Why Be A Vegan?
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Funny And Jewish.com Humor
Another Hollywood celebrity has converted to Islam …
It was announced today that Buckwheat,
of Our Gang fame, has converted to
the Muslim faith and changed his name to
Kareem of Wheat.
Let’s just hope he doesn’t go Froot Loops and become a cereal killer.
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A professor from Harvard, who was also an atheist, was seated next to a rabbi on a flight to Boston. He turned to him and said, “Do you want to talk? I find flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The rabbi, who had just started to read his book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the professor, as he smiled smugly, “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?”
“OK,” said the rabbi. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a moose all eat much the same stuff – grass. Yet a moose excretes pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”
The professor, visibly surprised by the passenger’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the rabbi replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don’t know sh-t!”
And then he went back to reading his book.