Pope Benedict XVI returned to the Vatican from Niagara Falls following a historic, 3 day working vacation in the honeymoon capital of the world.
The pontiff was visibly moved, literally, on a breath-taking helicopter ride over the Niagara Gorge before he stepped out to greet the assemblage. Many traveled great distances to hear him speak; but most came for the complimentary passes to the giant SkyWheel (Catholic’s only).
Delivering his sermon from the second floor balcony of his Days Inn suite, the Pope blessed locals for “providing us with the best 24 hour breakfast anywhere.”
First honored outside Madame Tussauds Museum and then again at Ripley’s Believe It or Not, Pope Benedict was caught trying to switch places with his wax counterpart just prior to a ribbon cutting ceremony.
“It gives me great pleasure to christen this horror exhibit and officially declare it open. Now kids, prepare to be scared to Hell!”
After posing for a commemorative portrait by a celebrated caricature artist/Elvis impersonator, his holiness held a special outdoor Mass, where the faithful received communion and fresh maple fudge.
“I am sad because I have to leave. Does anyone have a towel?” asked the pope, his papal crown still dripping wet from the Maid of the Mist boat ride. “Much more missionizing remains to be done, and I have a feeling that with the Lord’s help, I will be back again soon.”