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Palestinians Refuse Latest UN Offer

Funny and Jewish Middle-East Humour

Dateline: A Hole in Gaza

Retiring Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas has refused the latest U. N. offer to deploy armed “Peace Keepers” along any future Israel/Palestinian borders. The plan designed to weaken Hamas while reinforcing regional security was originally conceived by former U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan as a personal pet project designed to “keep myself busy once out of office”.

Yesterday morning, Annan’s phone rang with a voice that surprisingly did not belong to a tele-marketer. The Palestinians were said to be “on side” providing that the I.D.F. (Israeli Defense Force) be installed with a new mandate to protect Palestinians from each other.

“Let’s be serious for once.”

Addressing reporters, Abbas acknowledged speaking to Mr. Annan earlier, while also referring to the original proposal as being both laughable and unworkable. “Come now boys let’s be serious for once. The UN wants ‘Peace Keepers’? Look around here. Do you see any peace to keep? And while we’re at it; who designed those dreadful UN uniforms? You can see those blue helmets from a mile high. Or so I’ve been told.”

Feeling comfortable once again amidst all the confusion, the former Secretary General agreed with himself that the name United Nations is both inaccurate and misleading, leaving the once venerated institution liable to lawsuits and claims of false marketing. In a communiqué released to a group of pigeons that he was feeding over lunch, Mr. Annan acknowledged that the day’s events had indeed convinced him of the inevitability of a ‘Two-State’ solution:  i.e. the State of Israel on one side, living safely and securely beside a State of Anarchy on the other.

Funny And Jewish is a satirical Jewish humor site.

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3 Responses “Palestinians Refuse Latest UN Offer”

  1. Barry Yonofsky
    June 6, 2010 at 4:21 pm

    Very clever. Following you on Twitter!

  2. Madlyn Bricks
    June 6, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    This is a very good article. I think this will help a lot of people who are looking real information from respected news sources. Continue the great work!

  3. Marylin M.
    June 8, 2010 at 9:05 pm

    I would say another genuinely excellent funny post. Such biting satire is seldom found in Jewish writing these days. Thanks for the RSS Feed.

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