American seniors over the age of 85 would be banned from using tanning beds under legislation proposed by US Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney.
The bill that seeks warning labels on tanning beds and training staff to properly identify old people is designed as part of Romney’s far-reaching health-care scheme.
According to the American Cancer Society, old people using tanning beds are 75% more likely to be diagnosed with melanoma than non-old people, and the World Health Organization now lists tanning beds in the same cancer-causing category as tobacco, wind and the sun.
Florida’s Governor Rick Scott immediately endorsed the proposal.
“Mitt really called me up,” Scott said. “And after I picked myself up off the floor, I agreed to what he had to say.”
The bill proposes to ban the use of tanning beds for the chronically elderly everywhere throughout the state of Florida, including salons, old age homes and private homes.
Romney, who some have cynically suggested is vigorously chasing the Jewish vote, announced his plan in Miami to a coalition of Jewish Republican ulta-cuckers where he said that he was committed to “protecting the health and well-being of America’s seniors. I’ll need these folks alive and around in another 4 years so they better not die!”