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Return to Pre 1948 Borders Isreal


US President Barak Obama has once again signaled a radical departure from previous administrations by calling for the creation of a Palestinian state on pre-1948 Israeli borders.

Although clearly denying as such, the White House appears to have acquiesced to the Arab demand that any peace agreement be contingent on Israel’s withdrawal to borders that existing before the Jewish State was created.

“The Choice Before the Palestinians and Those Other Guys is Simple”…

In what can be described as the wild speculations of a man unfamiliar with this planet, President Obama remarked that there can only one be one decision for two peoples.

“The choice placed before the Palestinians and those other guys is simple: if a strong peace is going to happen, the status quo cannot be maintained. And by status quo, I mean anything that those other guys want.”

This about-face in US policy caught the Israelis off guard. It was not made clear, which pre-1948 borders the U.S. President was referring to when he spoke of territorial “land swaps”.

Did he mean that Israelis (now officially referred to as ‘illegal occupants awaiting expulsion’) should return to the pre 1947 or post British-mandated borders accepted by the friendly faces at the United Nations on November 29 1947? F.Y.I. Those faces at the UN don’t look any friendlier 64 years later.

Israel Rebukes US, Offers Counter-Proposal

At the White House, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu flat-out rejected this two-state vision. Speaking with his back to the President, he balked at any plans that might compromise Israel’s security. He further demanded to know how much influence his former pastor, Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr. had in drafting the US plan before offering a counter-proposal of his own.

“Here’s the thing”, the PM said bluntly. “Well-educated people like former Washington press correspondent Helen Thomas are always suggesting that we Jews should go back to where “we came from”. In her mind its Germany, Poland or wherever, but we know our history and our home is Israel.”

We’ll Return …To Pre Solomonic Borders!

The Prime Minister then redrew a map of the Middle East before the President could finish turning around.

“Not to sound disrespectful, but this is a problem only King Solomon could solve. And seeing as only King Solomon could settle this dispute, we propose a return to his original borders. You want us to revert to the past? We’ll go back even farther than 1948. How does 961 B.C.E. sound?”

It sounded too good to be true, Obama thought to himself. But could Jews really travel back in time? Yes they could, Netanyahu thought back. And they can also read minds.

“Oh, just one more thing”, said Netanyahu doing his best Lieutenant Columbo impression. “I intend to cap my political career in a similar fashion to King Solomon’s… by building the Third Temple on Jewish land, anywhere we want to in Jerusalem. Even if that means upsetting people like Helen Thomas.”

Funny And Jewish is a satirical humour website

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One Response “Return to Pre 1948 Borders Isreal”

  1. Howard McAnney
    November 6, 2012 at 11:11 am

    I love it. Bibi being like Moses. Its Yahweh who gives the ultimatums, not the likes of Obama. He only thinks he is a big deal. The original boundaries will ultimately be the final boundaries. Sorry Barak.

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