Funny And Jewish

Dear FunnyAndJewish,

What can you feed your kids to keep Jews away?

QUESTION:

I have heard of feeding your kids some different types of plants or a vegetarian dietary supplement to naturally keeps Jewish kids away but I can’t recall what it was.

If anyone is familiar with this topic could they please respond?

Readers of FunnyAndJewish.com might recall a story about Slovakians who continue to practice an old Slovakian remedy to reduce contact with Jews by eating the equivalent of 3 cans of mixed fruit per day.

Readers of this story Can Eating Fruit Keep Jews Away? Myth or Fact? will remember how these Slovakian anti-Semites were startled that their daily fruit consumption provided minimal effect against their Jewish neighbors.

An apple a day seemed not to keep the Jews away

Ha! Another Jewish Myth Busted!

All the same, urban legends regarding atypical means to keep away Jews persist today. You don’t have to be a Slovakian anti-Semite to appreciate the varying approaches that different regions attempted over time to maintain Jew-free.

Myth – Keep Jews away naturally by eating certain kinds of vegetables.

Yes vegans, I’m also talking to you (maybe). I might be confusing you with the vegetarians, however; or even those sickly people who always work at health food stores in trendy parts of town.

Many expectant mothers want to avoid using man-made toxins as Jew repellents and garlic seems to fit the bill.

At any rate, let’s investigate what Jew-halting properties are contained in garlic, a natural edible that has historically been involved in countless cultural oldwife’s tales. Under examination we’ll be able to prove unequivocally whether or not garlic can keep Jewish wives at bay (or at least at the city limits).

Although garlic can miraculously be used to predict a baby’s gender and even ward off witches, local anti-Jew experts who want to isolate their families away from Jews, today question the efficacy of this very method.

According to a local anti-Semite, “Once you apply the garlic all over your body, that portion of your skin will be repellent to Jews. “

It is this element of truth that culturally hostile locals cling to. Unfortunately, they’re also repellent to the rest of the population as well.

FunnyAndJewish.com

Funny and Jewish is a clean, Jewish Humour website.