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Wednesday March 29th 2017

Subway Restaurants Intoduce Matzah Sandwich for Passover

Jewish Humour

Funny Jewish Humor Pesach Matzah SandwichSubway’s New Matzah Breakfast Sandwich in time for the Jewish Holiday of Passover.

When Hillel used two pieces of matzah at Passover to form the first recorded Jewish sandwich in history, he likely didn’t see it as the forerunner to today’s game-changing Jewish breakfast sandwich.

EAT FRESH, EAT KOSHER

Subway’s new arrival of the Matzah Breakfast Sandwich is being test-marketed in Jewish parts of the United States.

In their kosher heyday, Subway restaurants operated 12 kosher subway locations across America. That may not seem like a lot considering the 22,000 non-kosher U.S. Subway restaurants, or the hundreds of halal Subway locations in England (halal Subways do not refer to London subway trains used exclusively by Arabs).

Currently the number of American kosher Subway establishments is down to 5, and that is the massive market that Subway is trying to carve for itself. This Matzah Sandwich announcement couldn’t come at a better time.

Because being number one in the US kosher fast-food market is the farthest things from their minds, workers at the Subway’s head office seemed bemused by the news.

“Really? Are the Jews still around?” laughed the former head of the marketing who was quickly escorted off company property.

Yes…Very funny in deed… In a “let’s see what the Jewish Defense League has to say about it” kind of way.

“MEATYNORMOUS, BRISKITLICIOUS and MATZAHRRIFIC”

We’re guessing that everyone who eats this Matzah sandwich is not going to be on a weight-loss diet. This enormous Passover sandwich has more calories and fat than a typical Seder.

“By expanding our breakfast sandwich menu to include the new Matzah Breakfast sandwich, we can now offer even more ridiculous alternatives to those patrons who want a convenient breakfast that is both rich in calories and heavy in content,” the company’s chief global marketing officer said earlier.

Food critics, restaurant critics, critics of Jews and kosher food and of Jews who eat kosher were quick to critique the latest mealtime offering. The biggest criticism being that “there just aren’t enough calories.”

Who says America doesn’t need another gargantuan matzah sandwich excessively high in fat and salt and lacking any fiber?

…“WELCOME TO PASSOVER!”

Officials here said healthier choices will not be made available and will never exist as an option in “the kosher eating experience”, even though exit surveys show that Jewish customers continue to want bigger, fattier sandwiches.

The Pesach Sandwich isn’t as hearty as the meal that it’s based on and is selling for a couple of US shekels. The Subway restaurant chain will wait until after Passover to decide whether it will broaden the Matzah sandwich offering across the country.

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