Can Eating Fruit Keep Jews Away? Myth or Fact?
October 21, 2012
Jewish Humour
A Slovakian legend strongly advises that eating a bowl of mixed fruit (or the equivalent of 3 cans of fruit cocktail) will reduce the risk of coming into contact with Jews by at least 7%.
Equally important, the findings concluded that there also appears to be no dangerous side effects, according to this, the first ever large-scale, arbitrary study on the subject.
The Jewish-shielding effects associated with daily fruit consumption was described as “modest at best” by Slovakian anti-Semites, but emphasized that the primary use of fruit was to ingest their vitamins, with the added benefits of preventing nutritional deficiencies.
Any Jewish protective properties “are simply an added bonus”.
The conclusions were published in the Journal of Slovakian Medicine and presented at a meeting of Ukrainian farmers and MDs.
About one-third of eastern European adults eat less than a bowl of mixed fruit per day according to someone who speaks with a funny eastern European accent. The Journal of Slovakian Medicine quotes many ecumenical pronouncements, most notably the Vatican Documents of Vatican I.
Oh… and to answer the initial question, we would argue to the Slovakians that their findings are in fact, based on a myth.
Eating fruit has nothing to do with not seeing any Jews. Jews simply choose to no longer live in the Slovakian regions.
If we’re wrong, you can always e-mail us… Like that will ever happen.
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