Jewish Humour, Jewish jokes, laughs and funny features
Wednesday March 29th 2017

‘Jewish Humour Picks’ Archives

Syria to Observe Eclipse

Syria to Observe Eclipse

Jewish Humour Syrian President Bashar al-Assad has indicated that he will observe a UN brokered total eclipse of the sun, an Arab League spokesman said today. “We have every indication to believe that they (the Syrian government) will adhere to a cessation of all hostilities while the moon passes itself between the earth and the sun. After [...]

Goliath’s Report Card

Goliath’s Report Card

Dear Parents, At 9 feet and 3/4 inches, Goliath is by far the tallest preschooler we've ever had. Continuing where last-year's report card left off, it was an absolute pleasure teaching your son the exact same things once again for a record-breaking 13th year! As I am retiring, I thought it best to leave you these thoughts that more or less [...]

Jewish Humour Tweets

Jewish Humour Tweets

1. God hears all prayers and reads every Tweet...Providing there is a quorum of 10 men sending them. 2. The Sabbath represents a tremendous opportunity for weight gain. Jewish Orthodox bulimics, anorexics and Jenny Craigers exert extreme discipline and self-control when feeding on this holy day. 3. If the bubby had betzim, she wouldn't need [...]

New Vatican Scandal – Humour

New Vatican Scandal – Humour

Funny News Flash Vatican Hit By Moving Scandal The Vatican was shaken following another “moving scandal” that reaches into Pope Francis’ household. This week, another choirboy was sacked for allegedly procuring big, burly male movers for a papal gentleman-in-waiting who is moving residencies. Frederico Baldninni, a Gentleman of His [...]

Funny Romantic Personal Ads

Funny Romantic Personal Ads

I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart to. Share your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets. You can confide in me. I’ll understand your insecurities. No fatties, please. Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me. Your place or mine? Divorced man, 42, [...]

Haman’s Report Card – Purim Humour

Haman’s Report Card – Purim Humour

Dear Parents, I must inform you that although the school year is fresh, your boy is already failing miserably. Here are a few points to consider. Frankly, it would make things a lot easier for everyone here - i.e. our teachers, students and the ‘Royal Baker’ who decorates your son’s birthday cake, if we could abbreviate your son's [...]

The Rabbi and the Professor

The Rabbi and the Professor

A professor from Harvard, who was also an atheist, was seated next to a rabbi on a flight to Boston. He turned to him and said, "Do you want to talk? I find flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The rabbi, who had just started to read his book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk [...]

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