Funny And Jewish

In Every Generation There Exists The Potential For The Messiah…HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?

Messianic Grand Prize: 2 Early Bird Resurrections!

A new era of Peace and Tranquility is about to be unleashed on the world and Funny And Jewish want you and a friend to be there.

His location is anyone’s guess and that’s where you come in.

We are sincerely committed to helping humanity realize its’ full potential and create a heaven on earth (unlimited texting included). And when we do, you can be sure that we will want to share in all the glory.

This week we look at:

Mr. Gerard Kipling

(Tribe of Levy)

Country: Hungary

Residence: Budapest

Occupation: Former Hungarian Jailer is now the country’s top State Executioner.

Weekly Mitzvahs:

– Volunteers as a Spiritual Healer for the aged and follically challenged.

– Learns 3 times/week (stays of executions permitting).

– Is a strictly kosher, albeit anorexic vegan.

Obstacles to Messianic Conquest:

– Anorexic condition prevents recitation of blessings before and after meals. Is seriously considering bulimia as alternative.

– Takes too much pleasure from his job; early childhood habit of provoking fights hard to lose.

– Favorite movie – Ace Ventura Pet Detective.

Rules: There are 2 ways to play and win:

(1) If you have spotted the Messiah Contact Us. Send us (1) a recent photo along with (2) any additional proof that will help your candidate’s claim to the Messianic throne.

(2) If you’ve never made First-Contact with the Messiah but would recognize him if you saw him, please indicate in our Reply Section below and you may find yourself laying down between a lion and a lamb.

– Winners will be woken gently. –

Funny And Jewish is a satirical Jewish humour website

Tags: Messiah