Jewish Humour, Jewish jokes, laughs and funny features
Wednesday August 23rd 2017

Can a Hungarian be the Messiah?

Jewish HumourIn Every Generation There Exists The Potential For The Messiah…HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?

Messianic Grand Prize: 2 Early Bird Resurrections!

A new era of Peace and Tranquility is about to be unleashed on the world and Funny And Jewish want you and a friend to be there.

His location is anyone’s guess and that’s where you come in.

We are sincerely committed to helping humanity realize its’ full potential and create a heaven on earth (unlimited texting included). And when we do, you can be sure that we will want to share in all the glory.

This week we look at:

Mr. Gerard Kipling

(Tribe of Levy)

Country: Hungary

Residence: Budapest

Occupation: Former Hungarian Jailer is now the country’s top State Executioner.

Weekly Mitzvahs:

- Volunteers as a Spiritual Healer for the aged and follically challenged.

- Learns 3 times/week (stays of executions permitting).

- Is a strictly kosher, albeit anorexic vegan.

Obstacles to Messianic Conquest:

- Anorexic condition prevents recitation of blessings before and after meals. Is seriously considering bulimia as alternative.

- Takes too much pleasure from his job; early childhood habit of provoking fights hard to lose.

- Favorite movie – Ace Ventura Pet Detective.

Rules: There are 2 ways to play and win:

(1) If you have spotted the Messiah Contact Us. Send us (1) a recent photo along with (2) any additional proof that will help your candidate’s claim to the Messianic throne.

(2) If you’ve never made First-Contact with the Messiah but would recognize him if you saw him, please indicate in our Reply Section below and you may find yourself laying down between a lion and a lamb.

- Winners will be woken gently. -

Funny And Jewish is a satirical Jewish humour website

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6 Responses to “Can a Hungarian be the Messiah?”

  1. J F says:

    Great news!

  2. Mad Hungarian says:

    That’s very funny! Can a Hungarian be the Messiah? I guess it all depends on what part of Hungary he’s from.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for the awesome bit. I found this post while searching for my personal savior.

  4. Margot says:

    Excellent post.This was actually what I was hoping to find, and I am glad I came here! Thanks for sharing this with us.

  5. Friend says:

    Thank you. And No a Hungarian cannot be the Messiah!

  6. My Ex Misses Me But... says:

    FUNNY! These tips will definitely help you get your ex boyfriend back but you need an overall plan if you really want to succeed.

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