Funny And Jewish

Dear Rabbi,

Every time I go to pray, I find myself sitting beside a real loudmouth. It doesn’t matter where I go. Wherever I sit, some guy next to me feels he has to mumble louder than everyone else in the entire congregation…and that includes the preschool playgroup two flights down.

Please help me. I find all this noise very distracting as it interferes with my concentration. What advice can you give me that would help me focus on my prayers and consequently have them accepted?

Unfocused

Dear Unfocused,

Shame on you!

You mention with derision that everyone around you mumbles. So what? Are you really so articulate? Your letter writing demonstrates the skills of someone who barely (maybe) completed high school while your penmanship suggest that you’re trying to teach yourself how to write with your sub dominant hand.

That being said, do you think your pain is any greater than your fellow man’s?  Is your blood redder than his? Of course not. Let me reference Rashi, noted Jewish rabbinic commentator who asked: “And if you prick me do I not bleed?”

Suck it up boy and hit the prayer books. Sounds like you’ve got a lot of work a head of you. Until you hear otherwise, assume that the answers to your prayers are “NO”. *

*Rabbi Passover is neither recognized as a rabbi or by anyone in his family. The opinions expressed are solely those of Rabbi Passover’s, and even that is questionable. His advice should be taken with a grain of salt, immediately followed by a visit to a real, qualified rabbi.

Funny And Jewish is a Satirical Humour website